She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
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She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
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We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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