Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.

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  (510): We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP. http://tfl.nu/sbka
  Replies (14) Good night (1099) Bad night (563)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood

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  (563): My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood http://tfl.nu/k7f1
  Replies (1) Good night (1164) Bad night (1673)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"

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  (703): Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises" http://tfl.nu/h5gc
  Replies (3) Good night (1625) Bad night (478)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation

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  (504): I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation http://tfl.nu/lbqv
  Replies (22) Good night (1486) Bad night (3218)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The best revenge is premature balding

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  (603): The best revenge is premature balding http://tfl.nu/ugsl
  Replies (15) Good night (3862) Bad night (945)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow

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  (920): if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow http://tfl.nu/50w2
  Replies (14) Good night (1914) Bad night (924)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.

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  (828): my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty. http://tfl.nu/rhpp
  Replies (29) Good night (7172) Bad night (1066)
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  (714): View more from California

  He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.

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  (714): He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/xpcu
  Replies (8) Good night (2529) Bad night (912)
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  (925): View more from California

  I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too

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  (925): I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too http://tfl.nu/v7gc
  Replies (12) Good night (1615) Bad night (936)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD

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  (505): I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD http://tfl.nu/div0
  Replies (13) Good night (1453) Bad night (615)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.

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  (434): You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here. http://tfl.nu/0jb8
  Replies (10) Good night (1111) Bad night (455)
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  (707): View more from California

  The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.

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  (707): The acoustics in my bra are fantastic. http://tfl.nu/vfao
  Replies (7) Good night (1024) Bad night (375)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  It's a drunk scavenger hunt.

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.

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  (514): It's a drunk scavenger hunt. (514): Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked. http://tfl.nu/mf96
  Replies (2) Good night (1030) Bad night (315)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?

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  (312): Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!? http://tfl.nu/obq2
  Replies (4) Good night (669) Bad night (360)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.

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  (405): If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here. http://tfl.nu/2ha3
  Replies (4) Good night (323) Bad night (541)

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