i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
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Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
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Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.