At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She's the barista slut.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend