She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.