Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK

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(740): View more from Ohio

the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.

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(407): View more from Florida

sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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(650): View more from California

I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"

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(516): View more from New York

He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.

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(360): View more from Washington

Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?

(208): View more from Idaho

You need southern Jesus

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(979): View more from Texas

Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack

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