I can tuck mytits in my pants
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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