U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha