This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
