That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Drunk is not a location!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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