I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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