oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
