If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
