he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize