I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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