this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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