Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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