I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
don't judge my taste in strippers
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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