when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
