so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
