i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
