my sisters under your porch take her home
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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