I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You made out with two different species that night
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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