John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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