i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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