Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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