No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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