I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
