she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm just crazy horny about you
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
