I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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