come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
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Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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