He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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