I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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