I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
