You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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