doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm bleeding and have questions
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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