we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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