I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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