So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
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Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
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Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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