I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
