how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
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I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
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FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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