There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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