No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize