I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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