So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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