2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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