this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
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Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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