dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
