why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
