Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
