She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
