iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
