to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
