You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
