Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
