a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
