I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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