I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
