ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
