It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
